525,600 Minutes

Hitting Women (by one of my alter-egos - "Dasheese") The writer Don Spears, in his 1991 literary masterpiece In Search of Goodpussy, famously put forth the question of whether or not using violence against women is ever justifiable. He suggests that this is one of those deeply personal issues, like one's position on the death penalty, and that it's up to each individual to decide. Which probably makes more sense than some of us would like to think. Certainly, relations between men and women tend to vary between cultures. For example, a Mexican dude will straight up check his wife in the store. While that might look odd (and hilarious) to us, I'm sure it's more or less normal to the Mexican people, who tend to strongly value "machismo." Here in the first world, putting your shoe on a woman is considered more or less a no-no. I don't know that it's any more illegal than hitting a guy, but it's frowned upon, socially. From the time we're small children on the playground, we're told it's not okay for boys to hit girls, regardless of what it is they might say. I'm going to go ahead and put forth that if a woman physically threatens you, it's okay to beat her the same way you would beat a man. Bottom line. No man should sacrifice his personal safety just to satisfy a woman's ego. While it's true that no woman could ever pose much of a threat to me, I don't want to take the chance of one somehow fucking my shit up by accident, Julian McClanahan-style. Beyond that though, I can't really condone any hitting of women. For example, if you were to walk in on your wife blowing the mailman, you'd probably be best off just kicking the bitch out on the street like homeboy in Hustle and Flow. I'm not saying she wouldn't deserve an ass whipping, I'm just saying don't do it. Think about it like this: A retarded kid might do some fucked up shit to you like take a shit in its hand and throw it at you. Of course, in that situation you'd want to hit the little fucker, but then you know deep down inside that it's retarded and hence it doesn't know any better. Sometimes women don't know any better, either. Still, part of being a man is knowing when to take the high road.